Giant vegetables

Last week I went to the RHS autumn show and was amazed at the size of the giant vegetables....obviously the pumpkins were the star of the show, the heaviest being 20lbs lighter than a Shetland Pony, however there were also lemons the size of my head!

There is something about vegetables and giant vegetables that gets a guy going...could I be a champion grower? But how do they do it? tips from the internet are:

1) You need to grow them in masses of good compost...perhaps at least a ton of well rotted manure.  

2) Plant your ‘magic beans’ seeds from past champions can be tracked down over the web

3) They need a lot of space, pumpkins roots head out at least 4 metres from the main plant!

4) Keep them watered....a good suggestion is to put a seeper hose in coils around the plant and leave them dripping..others recommend the hose on for an hour a day

5) Keep one or two fruits and cut off the others, and cut off subsidiary shoots.

6) Keep the pumpkin shaded....sun causes the skin to harden and makes it harder to expand

7) Keep it warm at night...this is when most expansion occurs, people suggest putting those big water cooler vats next to them to absorb heat during the day and emit it at night

8) Fertilizer: tomato feed at least once a week

9) Pray

10) Witchcraft: there is a certain amount of magic, potions and things to do by the light of the new moon to guarantee success...

It all seems like a lot of faff to me, however part of me wants to do it! are you a secret giant vegetable fancier?

This this be you next to your prize pumpkin?